I wonder sometimes when I will stop longing for the outcome to be different between us. I wonder when I will truly accept that there is no “us”. I wonder when I will realize that I made the right choice, the empowered choice; in fact, I made the only choice I could. I know that I need and deserve certainty. I also know that life is not certain, nothing is; certainly not the love of another human being. It is inherently risky, even on a bell-clear day. There is no certainty in whether love will last, whether love will come, or whether that particular love will choose me, above all others. I cannot control the heart that beats in another person’s chest. I can only continually be willing to risk my own heart. … More 355 Days – For M.