Filling My Jar

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”  ~ Unknown At the start of this year, I decided to create a “happiness jar” to fill with reports of the good things that happened to me on a day-to-day basis.  This might be things like a ride to work or help with groceries, or the offer of … More Filling My Jar

The Importance of Small Moments

I didn’t know how the years ahead would play out. That the Gulf war was just a preamble. That my friend’s five-year-old would commit suicide before his twenty-second birthday. That I wouldn’t study music or social work; instead, I would begin to write. I didn’t know the pervasive sadness — the black well of depression — that would swallow me during that coming decade. I didn’t know that I would flounder over another friend’s suicide, that I would feel so stymied about love, so disappointed, that I wouldn’t truly allow it into my life until after I turned 40.

I was 30 when I left New York. I thought I knew where I was headed. I thought the road before me was clear — unencumbered. I was wrong. … More The Importance of Small Moments

Dear Mom-cat

Dear Mom-cat, I’ve thought a lot over the past few years about your death. Not because it feels imminent, but because you are 77, and time together being what it is, our days as mother and daughter are finite. My death still feels far away, still a distant thumping on a distant drum…but yours is … More Dear Mom-cat