Finding Your Tribe


“Find your tribe. Love them hard.” ~ Danielle LaPorte

In the past five years, a number of people left my life. Some of them died. Some of them moved away. Some of them faded slowly to black.

I walked out on some of them. Some of them walked out on me.

But it’s all good.

It’s right.

It’s a good sort of culling.

We were done.

For some of them, we’d been done for a long time but we just kept going through the motions. Pretending we were friends when we had nothing in common.

And I mean nothing.

Zero. Zilch.

Others – our paths diverged at some point – and I didn’t see it until I was miles away, unable to relate to anything about this person or that. I realized someone who’d at one time been a close friend, was now a total stranger.

Or they bullied me or hurt me or left me or dissed me.

And I finally got to the point I was through swallowing gasoline and pretending it was fresh water.

The fire in my belly woke me.

I was angry – mostly at myself – for putting up with such shitty treatment.

And so, we parted.

Sometimes suddenly. Sometimes incrementally.

Sometimes without a word.

And that’s OK.

No one I’ve left behind wasn’t meant to be left behind.

My soul’s growth depended on it.

My heart demanded it. My boundaries – burning at the edges of my life – had been violated again and again in some cases.

Finally, I’d had enough.

A voice whispered, “Not for you.”

And I heard it. Clearly.

Not. For. Me.

As all this falling away was happening, I was meeting new souls right and left. I was encountering them in conferences and online, in writing groups and poetry workshops.

We were finding each other in bookstores and coffee houses.

I moved to Northern NM and found myself with like-minded souls of all stripes.

I stumbled across kindred spirits and kind strangers.

And as I met these luminous beings, I recognized them as my relations. My true family.

We had always known each other because we met before, in previous lifetimes, in previous cities, and on previous continents.

We met because we are one tribe.


I met people from 40 countries this summer while in Spain for a month-long educational and spiritual conference put on by Mindvalley. I met love coaches and online entrepreneurs. I met world-class speakers and teens who were falteringly searching to find their place in the world.

I met men and women my age and decades younger than me.

All of them taught me something about myself.

And I taught them something, too. We shared a kernel of truth or a moment of human kindness. We bandaged each others’ wounds and offered solace.

This world is on fire. This world is a burning house.

And these folks – no matter how long I’ve known them or where they came from – are my family.

They are my tribe. They are the ones who see me as I am, not as I once was.

So, if you are stumbling around, choking on the smoke and flames, know that there are people who are meant for you.

They are out there. They are looking for you.

Don’t give up. Don’t shutter your life and return to stasis.

Unfurl your wings and let your life lift off.

Everything will look different when you do.


Everyone has a book inside of them. Everyone has a story. Wouldn’t you love to share yours with the world? Get your free writer’s toolkit, packed with tricks and tips to get you started. Just do it. Don’t wait. Don’t die with an untold story inside you.

© 2017  Shavawn M. Berry All rights reserved

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