Let Soulful Sustenance be thy Medicine.
“. . . Hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else . . . . Wanting life to be different from what it is. That’s also called leaving without leaving. Dying before you die. It’s as if there is a part of you that so rails against being shattered by love that you shatter yourself first. (p. 44)” ― Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
It’s been a wild year.
This year challenged me again and again in terms of my health. I had surgery in May and just as I was nearly recovered, broke my right wrist at the end of the summer. Between anesthesia and the prescription meds I was given, I slept for three months.
What else could I do? Exhaustion overwhelmed me.
Now, I’ve finally made the connection between what I think about consistently as the crux of the problem. Of course, I’ve done a bang-up job of ignoring my body for a long ass time. I was not taking care of myself, yes.
But beyond that, I was allowing a toxic stew of negativity and complaint to dictate my life state.
I was not taking care of my heart and mind. I was soul sick.
Let Your Inner Child Be Thy Guide.
Realizing this state of affairs had to end — pronto — I started reading every book I could regarding spirituality, gratitude, positive thinking, goal setting, and designing your ideal life.
As I healed from my broken wrist, I watched the trees outside my bedroom window. Whether a windy day, a gray day or a dazzling sunny day, they stood where they’ll always stand and were happy. How many of us can say the same thing?
I meditated on the blueness of the sky.
I sent love to my cells and bones.
I was gentle with myself. I let myself sleep and be cared for. I snuggled up with my dog.
And when I felt up to it, I read.
I read their words about life and how to live it. I read about how to shift my focus to change my life. I read about gratitude and the field of possibility. I read about the ways in which one negative thought can cloud our beings and start a negative spiral. I read about quantum physics and energy dynamics.
I read about play as a means of caring for your inner child.
I read about living from the perspective of belief in a benevolent, kind, giving universe.
Let Play Be Your Constant Familiar.
And as I read, I felt things shift.
I became lighter, more buoyant.
I stopped worrying and started laughing more.
I quit catastrophizing every misstep or mistake; instead, I practiced gratitude.
And gratitude changed everything.
I didn’t overanalyze what I ate or how many calories it had. I ate until sated. Then, I stopped.
I took pictures of leaves and clouds and the sun rising.
I walked around barefoot and ate lemon cake and cherry pie.
I couldn’t write much of anything for nine long weeks due to the cast on my wrist, so I read and thought about life. As a teacher, I took care of my students but I didn’t baby them. I responded to their questions and emails, but not 24 hours a day.
I allowed myself space to heal and nurture and wonder.
Patient, heal thyself.
“It’s your mind that creates the world.” ~ Buddha
Toxic thoughts, like toxic people, are not good for me.
I need to give myself lots of sunlight and water and nutritious food. I need exercise and affection and love. I need these not just for my body, but for my mind, too.
What we think about, what we believe is true, becomes the house in which we live.
Think about that.
We create our experiences based upon the thoughts we plant, water, and nurture.
Make them thoughts, words and deeds that heal, not harm you.
Make them thankful. Make them light.
Then, the darkness we think is so pervasive, will take care of itself.
© 2016 Shavawn M. Berry All rights reserved
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