“When your demons come, offer them a piece of cake.” ~ Buddhist saying
Resistance is Futile.
Why offer ‘cake’ to your darkness?
Because even the darkness — at its most vulnerable center — is in need of love.
If we love our darkness (instead of resisting it), we can integrate the lessons it comes to teach us. We can acknowledge what we do and do not know about life. We can look into the abyss that contains our mysterious souls and realize that all aspects that make us, us — every one of them — need a voice and a seat at the table. We can spend less time making things ‘pretty’ and instead focus on making things ‘true.’
Tell the Truth, Nothing But the Truth.
Sometimes life sends us a shit sandwich.
No point in pretending it doesn’t.
Sometimes it arrives in a nice lunch box, but it still stinks.
Sometimes it arrives on a platter, perfumed but not masked from a cloud of skunk smell.
And sometimes, it comes disguised as ham and cheese. It’s not what it seems to be. It isn’t until we take a bite (or worse eat it) that we realize it’s not only not going to nurture us, it’s going to make us sick.
However, that sickness (be it a lost job or shattered relationship or empty bank account) came to court us for a reason. We’ve veered off course and are in (desperate) need of course correction. Life sent us a message, in no uncertain terms: change willingly or resist and make your life hell.
Oh, and by the way: Opting out is not an option.
Transformation is Often Painful.
This week I got a letter that made it clear that BIG CHANGE is afoot for me. And at first, I railed against it, infuriated at my feelings of the unfairness of the situation. I bargained with myself. I wept.
I gnashed my teeth and felt victimized.
Then, I realized just because someone sent me a poison pill, doesn’t mean I need to take it.
And I changed my focus from things that I have no control over to things that I do.
That narrowed it down, quite a bit.
What I control is my perception, my reaction, and my ability to choose my next move. All the rest of it is outside my purview.
When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade.
So, I got busy designing and envisioning what I do want for my life, moving forward.
I can’t change what’s happening, but I can shift the focus of my energy. I can pour it into things that serve me and make my life better. That includes building a life that’s good, taking care of my body/mind/spirit, and being grateful for whatever blooms in the empty space uprooted and cleared by this experience.
I am offering my demons some cake.
I am making friends with the terrified, upset, hostile parts of me. I am having coffee with the enemy inside.
You know the one. She’s the one that snorts whenever you hatch your brilliant plan for financial independence, or outline your latest book idea, or determine to cut your carbs and eat salads. She’s the one who smears shit on things and says she’s ‘redecorating.’
She’s the one who makes you believe you will never breakthrough. (Total bullshit, BTW.)
Lift the Veil. Walk Away From Delusion.
We rarely need outside voices to make us doubt ourselves. The vice army within has plenty of pull.
We buy into limitation because it feels safe, familiar, comfortable.
It’s also a tomb.
Nothing is stopping us from becoming our best selves, except us.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
— David Whyte
from Sweet Darkness, The House of Belonging, Many Rivers Press
When life serves you a pile of poo, leave the table.
You don’t have to stay where you are. Ever.
There are roads out of hell and cars leaving there every single day.
Hitch a ride. Ride shotgun. Steal some wheels. Barter.
© 2015 Shavawn M. Berry All rights reserved
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