“Live to the point of tears.” ~ Camus
A – Z Challenge – Day 20
If I could save time in a bottle
Awake again in the middle of the night, called to go outside. I stand under the stars and watch the moon rise. Inside my head, a song* from a movie I saw at 14, lingers.
Everything’s roiled and confused. Part of me wishes I could hang on, and part of me knows these times are about the grace of letting go.
I hear from friends whose parents are sick, hospitalized, or convalescing at home with everything from allergic reactions to strokes to just plain old age.
And time keeps moving.
…The first thing that I’d like to do
The good news mixes with sorrow and tastes bittersweet.
I think about my mother’s gnarled hands and the way my father looked at me when he was alive.
I think about an old lover of mine whose face sometimes hovers over me in the dark.
“The trouble is, you think you have time.” ~ Buddha
…Is Save every day ’til eternity passes away
So, we savor meals, eating off each others’ plates.
We rifle through yellowing photographs, looking for our former selves. Thinking maybe, just maybe, some silver bit of that girl or that boy is frozen there, stopped in his or her tracks — able dance like an angel on the head of a pin — able to stop time.
We hear a snatch of a song, and suddenly we fall back. We look up from the front seat of our first boyfriend’s car, parked at the edge of the woods, as ghosts gather around us, watch us kiss.
…Just to Spend them with you
Tonight, the past feels especially close.
Still a blurry figure, a ways up the road.
There’s this feeling of urgency. This sense that we need to put a tourniquet on our gaping, troubled wounds and tie up loose ends.
This is the moment we’ve longed for. Nowhere to live except this sliver of real estate.
Fireflies shimmer. The moon wanes.
There’s nothing but this.
(*Jim Croce, Time in a Bottle)
© 2014 Shavawn M. Berry All rights reserved
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