“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”       The Buddha

Lately, I have forgiveness on my mind. 

In fact, I keep hearing the lyric to a Don Henley song floating around in my brain. The song is “The Heart of the Matter.” It was released on The End of the Innocence album in 1989. In it, Henley writes

“I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore…”

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ~ Mark Twain.

I’ve been reading a new book by Collin Tipping called Radical Forgiveness.

Tipping’s whole take on things is that everything that happens to us is perfect in every way.  Everything: the crap, the heartbreak, the layers of loss, the joy…all of it (the whole enchilada, so to speak) is perfect exactly as it is.  Nothing about our experiences needs to change except our perception

Each experience comes into our lives to teach us to love ourselves. There is nothing but love. Any experience that causes us pain is there to help us investigate and uncover the ways in which we are not loving and kind toward ourselves. Our lovers, friends, bosses, and colleagues all exist to show us something about ourselves. They act as a clear mirror of our inner life.

What we see of ourselves in their presence is meant to help us to better travel through this life, with love and lightness and joy. We will continue to experience certain sorts of difficulties until we learn the attendant lesson we need to learn.  When we do, we are free to forgive and move on.

Louise Hay’s work on recognizing the way our thoughts impact our bodies has also been forcing me to rethink the way in which I approach my life. 

Both of these developments cannot be a coincidence and cannot be anything but a positive sign of current growth.  I am learning something new every day.  Every day, begin again.  Every day, start fresh.  Do not be encumbered by baggage from the past.

This is the only moment in which to live.

© 2008 Shavawn M. Berry

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